What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman in her First Trimester

My hubby and I have told a few very close friends and family that we are expecting a baby.  Additionally, when someone has flat out asked me if I was pregnant, I had a really hard time saying "no" so I fessed up and said yes, but asked them to keep the news on the downlow.

Most reactions, actually all reactions, have been joyous and wonderful.  However a few times I walk away and am like "WTF did she/he just say?"

This morning our administrative assistant at work passed me in the hallway and flat out asked me if I was pregnant.  I nodded my head and put a finger up to my mouth gesturing to keep it quiet.  She let out a soft squeal, hugged me, and then whispered in my ear, "I knew it, your face was getting so fat."  I knew my belly was getting fat, and maybe my feet are a little swollen, but thanks for pointing out places on my body that I never thought I would have a problem with must be that grossly disfigured that it gave you the confirmation I was pregnant. 

I've been more comfortable with telling strangers I am pregnant for some reason, so I've told my manicurist, a few waitstaff, my landscaper amonst a few others.  Following the annoucements, three of those individuals proceeded to tell me tragic stories of miscarraiges and pregnancy complications of someone they knew......  I've been keeping this a secret for three months precisely because I am terrified this must happen to me, so thanks for highlighting it again, causing terror and worry and another sleepless night. 

My hubby told one of his colleagues with kids we were expecting.  After the initial congratulations, the colleague proceeded to warn hubby that our lives were over, and that he must maximize his time pre baby by going out all night long, to strip clubs, to bachelor parties, and sow as many oats as possible.  Thanks.  While I am home puking my guts out carrying your baby, yes please, go ahead to act like you are a 21 year old bachelor. 

So, FYI, please do not follow by bad example, and if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all :)

The Big Annoucement

So, I decided to tell my family that I was pregnant this week.  I know it is early, but even if anything did happen, I'd undoubtedly rely on my family for support so I thought it was time to tell.  Plus, I couldn't wait any longer.

I called my mom and dad on Saturday and told them over the phone first. After many tears, hoorahs and squeals they agreed to keep it a secret for 24 hours until I could tell the rest of the family Sunday night.  My family gets together every Sunday night for dinner at my parents, so I knew that my sister, nieces and nephews, aunt and uncle, cousins, brother and grandmother would all be at my parents house.

I asked them to Skype me before dinner so I could say hi to everyone.  Instead of telling them straight away, I sat my dog Tito on my lap with an "I'm the big brother" bandana on and waited for someone from my family to notice.

My hubby, Tito and I waiting for the family to notice Tito's bandana.

I think one of the kids first read his bandana and exclaimed, "But Tito doesn't have a brother or sister!" Then my brother read the bandana and exclaimed in pure delight, "Oh wait, are you guys getting another dog!!!?"

LOL

I replied, "No, this time it will be a baby."  At that point, everyone started cheering and hoo-hawing, which was immediately followed by a tray of vodka shots brought out by my mother to celebrate Polish-style :)   

All in all, a wonderful way to spread the good news, a close second to being there in person. This baby is going to be brought into a loving and fun family no doubt, lucky kid.  I received the following text from my sister after the dinner.

Bursting at the Seams

I'm four weeks pregnant and no doctor will see me until 6-8 weeks.  I want to share the news with some very important people in my life and have literally been bursting at the seams.  Hubby and I agreed to keep it our little secret until the first doctor's appointment to make sure things are moving along well.   It should be easy to keep it secret as most of my VIPs are not in Houston.  However, I've been bursting at the seams this week holding back from telling anyone, but I am not sure I can wait much longer.  Here are some of my recent conversations:

Check out this text exchange last night with my best friend.  I was going to leave the Costa Rica wedding early to make the Ghana trip, but as you know I had to cancel the Ghana trip, so was letting my best friend know.  I alluded to some big news, but clearly was too esoteric for her to pick up.  I just want to tell her!

Check out this exchange with my sister a few days ago after Downton Abbey aired.  I just wanted to say, "Just wait for mine, because he/she is coming in 9 months)! But left it at, "Just wait for mine."

Last Thursday was the last time I had a glass of wine, accompanied by some wonderful charcuterie with my good friend in D.C.

No more salami or wine  for a long time :/

I've been wanting to text her all week letting her know that was my last glass of wine for a year.

Or just yesterday, I went to visit my friend and her one day old son at the hospital.  I was asking specific questions about the doctor and hospital wondering if I should follow suit, and my friend exclaimed that she would share all the details once I was pregnant.... I just wanted to shout it out right then!

And my mother, oh boy.  I feel like I've been avoiding her because I am afraid I'll spill the beans.   I know once my mama knows, everyone will know, so I'm trying to hold off a few more days.

On the opposite note, I actually have told one person other than hubby and doctor I was pregnant.  I told one of my superiors at work today as I was informing her I couldn't participate in the Africa trip, and was slightly surprised at some resistance and regret.  It even made me reconsider whether I should go, but then I shook back to reality. If anything did happen, I would never forgive myself for making the wrong choice.  But I have a feeling I'll become even more entrenched in this work-life balance, working mom issue.