Breastfeeding Commitment

After attending a weekend long childbirth seminar, I toyed with the idea of a natural (pain med-free) childbirth.  Following the class, I asked my OBGYN her opinion on whether I should put that in my birthplan as my first preference.  She told me that yes, there are a lot of women who put that in their birthplans as their preference, but the only ones that she sees go through with it are the ones that were REALLY determined from the start.  Most of them have birthing doulas, and almost all of them have been preparing for it throughout their pregnancy.  It was at that point, I knew I was going to get an epidural.  I just was not THAT dedicated to the idea of a natural birth; rather, I thought maybe I would just try the day of the birth.  Definitely am lacking ALL the preparation one needs to really be committed to that.

Breastfeeding on the other hand, I am committed to.  The women in my family have a history of not being able to breastfeed.  From what I've learned, they all have had inverted nipples and painful experiences breastfeeding, thus, we were all bottle fed.  Clearly, we turned out fine:  all good college grads, Ivy League alumni, swim stars, authors, sports stars, etc - and I know that if I am unable to breastfeed my formula fed baby will be rockstar nonetheless.  I'm not getting into that discussion nor do I have a problem with that.

However, I really, really, really, really, really, really just want to breastfeed.  And its not because EVERYONE is pushing breastfeeding on new mothers (even my doctor said the pressure these days is more than she has ever seen).

For me, I made the commitment to myself when I served in the Peace Corps. For two years, I watched women breastfeed and calm their babies by breastfeeding throughout all hours of the day - and fell in love with the image.   I have thousands of images of African mothers breastfeeding stored in my head that absoultely make me crazy with joy, and make me pine and long for breastfeeding as well.  I've seen hundreds of African women flipping their babies from the slings on their back to their sides to provide nourishment for the babies, regardless of where they were:  at home, in the market, farming a rice field, on a bus, etc.  And to come to think of it, I rarely heard babies cry in Africa (and trust me, there were a lot of babies).  Yes, there are wonderful benefits to breastfeeding among providing antibodies, nourishment, different flavored milks with different tastes, much cheaper, easier to lose weight, etc... but its the images I remember from my Peace Corps days that make me yearn, and want.  And so I am hoping that this dedication and yearning for breastfeeding enables me to make it happen (like my doctor said about women who go through natural childbirth).

I saw this a dozen times a day, over two years in the Peace Corps.  It wasn't uncommon for women to greet you while their child was drinking from their breasts, totally natural with no reservations.

African mom working, pounding millet, while breastfeeding.

Moreover in my line of work, we strongly encourage African mothers to exclusively breastfeed for the first six months as it is the single most preventive intervention for ensuring child survival in Africa.  A Lancet-published study estimates that 13 percent of all deaths of children under five years old in developing countries could be prevented by exclusive breastfeeding.  

We encourage the breast crawl after deliveries in my line of work.  Unfortunately my doctor told me that with epidurals, this is harder to have.  She has seend it a lot with natural births though.
Every newborn, when placed on the mother's abdomen, soon after birth, has the ability
to find its mother's breast all on its own and to decide when to take the first breastfeed.
This is called the 'Breast Crawl'.  Starting at minute 2.  So amazing.

I KNOW its hard work, our instructor at our breastfeeding class last weekend pretty much told us to give up our lives the first few months.  I told her I was planning on hiring someone to come for a few times a week during maternity leave so that I could get out of the house.  She told me "not in the first month honey.  If you really want to breastfeed, don't introduce a bottle for a month, and that baby needs to be with you at all times that first month."  Thats a lot.  And every 45-90 mins??  WTF.

But, I'm committed to it as much as I can be without knowing what its really going to be like.  And my husband is just as committed, coming with me to the class to learn how to help me along the way.  Also, I've already hired a lactation consultant to come to my home the day after I deliver (with a generous gift certificate a friend of mine gifted us).  So I'm doing everything possible to make it happen.

That said, if I am unable to succeed, I will not beat myself up about it.  Just like birth plans, breastfeeding plans are 50/50 -- and I'll revise it as necessary to accommodate whats best for me and the baby at that point.  But I'm going to try really really really hard.